Saturday, July 5, 2008

David Caruso - Rumors Desperately Seeking Stalker

With summer in full swing and family pursuits taking on increased importance, the gossip mills have slowed to a crawl frustrating the rumormongering efforts of Gabriele Huber, David Caruso's fugitive Austrian stalker. Impatient that the paparazzi have not uncovered any juicy new details for Huber to promote in her ongoing hate war, Huber has resorted to her fall back plan: fabrication.

Huber's latest hype is not only ludicrous on its face but it requires a huge leap of faith on the part of even the most jaded Caruso fan. Citing absolutely no sources, Huber is promoting the claim that Caruso used his political cache with CSI Miami's executive producers to secure the Medical Examiner role for Amina Islam. This time though, Huber didn't stop there. She iced this latest rumor with repulsive sexual innuendo proving once and for all that she is truly a product of Hitler stock.

"Would David Caruso really ever go as far as rewarding Amina´s faking an orgasm every other day with a possible role in CSI Miami?"

Huber's deranged verbal assassinations could be a sign that her days on the lam are numbered. Or they could just be a reminder of the Austrian government's total failure in capturing a psycho celebrity stalker whose sole mission in life is to torch David Caruso's reputation.

Gabriele Huber remains at large wanted for threatening to murder David Caruso. She is armed and considered to be extremely dangerous. Do not attempt to apprehend this woman. Contact your local FBI or Austria's Bundeskriminalamt at +43-(0)1-531 26-0.

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Schnitzer's Death Threat

Schnitzer's Death Threat
Actual Letter Sent to Caruso