Friday, March 14, 2008

David Caruso - Stalker's Emperor's Club Franchise

Looks like business is picking up at the stalker's new Emperor's Club franchise in Austria. Customers have already started lining up outside the club located in the seedy red light district. Unfortunately, word of mouth accounts have not been too favorable for the stalker's new venture . Men are being advised to furnish their own paper bags to cover her face. This Emperor's Club obviously does not have the same cache as its high-scale twin in Manhattan. Austrian Health officials have had to set up a mobile unit in the neighborhood to dispense penicillin injections to local johns.
Caruso's stalker is hoping for a brisk business to help raise funds for her defense on charges related to stalking and threatening to murder David Caruso.

1 comment:

Jester said...

News Flash!!

The Austrian authorities have been called in to investigate the disappearance of 3 men last seen entering the Austrian Emporers Club.

They have begun to nickname her "The Black Widow". as they have evidence that suggests she makes mad passionate love to her victims before devouring them completely.

They are employing listening devices amongst the nations women in order to pick up any unusual and repetitive bodily sounds. Apparently too many douche bags results in indigestion and flatulance.

Schnitzer's Death Threat

Schnitzer's Death Threat
Actual Letter Sent to Caruso