Thursday, March 13, 2008

David Caruso - Stalker Works as a Call Girl

Yesterday, the question was asked, what kind of double life does an indicted Austrian stalker lead? Spending 24/7 on the Internet maligning David Caruso simply does not pay the bills. It goes without saying that the stalker obviously does not have any type of conventional employment i.e., a Monday thru Friday, 8 to 5, 40 hour work week. That type of job would be much too restrictive and would not allow the stalker any flexibility to monitor site feeds, post hate-filled comments, maintain multiple blogs and invent new names by the hour. Not to mention, pursuing her obsessive need to LIBEL David Caruso with headline grabbing, slimey, incoherent articles.

This stalker had to face some difficult choices in seeking employment. She knew she would need something that provided her freedom from the eyes and ears of a micro-managing boss and one that provided flex-hours with a home-based office.

After exhaustive research, the stalker finally found her dream job--the oldest profession in the world. She was a natural for the position as she possessed all of the necessary skills to ply her trade: obscene vocabulary, a smut driven work ethic, no integrity and a morally bankrupt work history.

For the stalker, it was a no-brainer. What other position could offer flexible scheduling enabling her to "work" and sleep during non-peak hours for Internet traffic? The Internet Joke has become a call girl-- a perfect match for a love-obsessed celebrity stalker.


Jester said...

But would she know where to find everything? I think not.

Sara said...

I wonder if her clients bolt demanding refunds when they lay eyes on her?

Schnitzer's Death Threat

Schnitzer's Death Threat
Actual Letter Sent to Caruso